I was walking my dog, Sam, in the middle of the night.
I had been working from home since my son was born.
He was born just a few days earlier.
I had just taken a pregnancy test.
It was normal.
But I was feeling pretty good.
Then I noticed Sam was sitting on my lap.
Sam is sitting on mine.
He had been my best friend since we were young, and we had a lot of fun together.
We loved spending time with each other, playing together.
And now, a week later, Sam was born in the hospital.
The birth of a baby boy.
But when I look back, I remember the day that changed everything for me.
A week earlier, my husband, John, had been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, and I had to leave him to undergo surgery.
We were devastated.
It was the hardest time of my life.
I lost my son, and our marriage was over.
I couldn’t bring him back.
After a year of trying, we found a surrogate mother who could care for him, and John began to come around.
He and I finally found a match.
Now, we are living in our second home, and together, we’re raising our son together.
I am still so grateful for the support I received during this difficult time.
But the most important thing I took away from the surgery was the time I had with Sam.
As I sat in the doctor’s office, he was curled up on my bed, and he cried uncontrollably.
What I needed to do was to say to him, “I love you.”
I had just been told I needed surgery to make my ovaries bigger, and my doctor had said, “You need to be told that this is a very difficult decision, and it will take a lot to overcome.”
I needed him to say that.
When I woke up the next morning, Sam wasn’t there.
His belly was flat against my back.
I knew he couldn’t have had a hard day, because he had always been a good baby, but I couldn, too.
I tried to get his shirt off.
I felt embarrassed.
I could feel his muscles in my chest.
He wanted to be near me.
I asked him to lay down, and put his hands on my shoulders and shoulders again.
Then I felt a warm, loving hand.
I looked into his eyes, and realized that I loved him too.
And so I told him, I love you.
I told John.
And so it began.
Sam was my only son, a beautiful little boy, who I loved every minute of every day.